I’m okay on my own. I’m more me when I’m away from family members. I felt distorted and inwardly dismembered when I came away from them, and felt like those interactions handed me an inner dark cloud that took a day or more to wash out.
I could never win with them, the narratives handed to us as children bled into adulthood. I don’t have the strength to sort it out, sort it out with them when they don’t have the similar desire to. And why would they? Those narratives always benefited them.
Now I see that I don’t have the strength to do so because it was never a job I was required to perform. I’m free to create a new and more factual narrative of my life, even if it’s only shared with myself and new people in my life who will resonate with who I truly am.