No-Contact: A Life Changer

5fda8204ee477b557358c23ec7ae8b8cNo regrets.  I thought there might be, or some lingering sadness.  No, it’s been nothing but increasing relief.  The worries that I began with are going away, and they weren’t as important as I thought they were.  I feel better without them so much that the concerns don’t matter anymore.

The practice makes removing other people easier. without the hesitations.   I already know from experience that it’ll feel good to be relieved from them.

I associated with these people, mostly family members, while looking at life through a certain lens.  These people weren’t good for me, but I settled.  Now I know that I don’t have to settle and that there are more proper people out there for me.

I can work on myself now and bring in people that are more suitable for me, with the new lens.

The people I’ve released were at the time those who thought and felt different than I, so much so that it caused me confusion and pain.  I’ve changed and am continuing to change, so now these people are even MORE different than me, so much so that I’m even more happy for the distance.

I am free to be me now.  Somehow their presence in my life, or even in my head, had paralyzed so many things that I wasn’t even aware of at the time.  I get things done more fluidly because I’m no longer worried about others who are rigidly critical will ever see it.  Just as my blog is hidden from anyone who knows me, which helps in my free writing, so does the creative things I’ve been putting my mind and hands to lately.  Everything is opening up to me.

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I write this in encouragement for anyone who seeks to separate themselves from abusive people, even if they’re family members.  If the circumstances are right for you to do this and your heart is crying for you to find some peace away from the constant barrage of soul injury, then you know deep within yourself if this is the right route for you.

 

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9 thoughts on “No-Contact: A Life Changer

  1. Did you actually have a no contact conversation with them or just stop answering the phone or something else? I had been worried for you to lose any financial assistance you were getting, but perhaps you had enough anyway. No matter, Im glad the decision was a good one and that you feel free. A few women friends have recently come into my life. Im getting good at telling the good guys from the bad. I used to be gullible and naive. It wound me up in dire straits. But I think I caught it in the nic of time. My problems of the past dont have to be my future anymore:)

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    • There was almost no relationship other than seeing each other on special occasions or family emails. They’re all my adoptive father’s children so they called and met up with each other. My decision was to make the lack of interest from both sides instead of trying to become friends with them. So that means I’m free now from having to show up at these family meet-ups where I’d feel ignored and tense for days beforehand.

      My decision to release myself from trying anymore also got them out of my head, where I felt they were always comparing me to them. I don’t care anymore what they think of me and it’s genuine and freeing.

      My parents I have extremely low contact with and it’s becoming lower all the time. I still would have need of extra provision for emergencies, etc. from time to time but I’ve been in prayer that God would still provide for me in times of need but through other sources if possible.

      I will always have the door ajar with my parents for the sake of honouring them and being there for them if they ever ask anything of me as they are seniors. I’m quite confident they may not as they have the other children to ask from, but this is a show of readiness that is between me and God.

      That is a valuable lesson in life, what you said about your problems of the past not having to be the problems of the your future. That is an aspect of the new way I’m looking at life now myself.

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  2. Prairie Girl, your writings impress me. One of the things that impresses me the most is how very mature you are. Mature, intelligent, and well-spoken. I really do think a lot of you. And you inspire me:)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wow, what amazing kind words! Thank you so much for them, they’re very appreciated. I was just finishing thinking that I wish that we lived closer as I would love to meet you, but it’s still such a blessing to know you here.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you so much, goldenbrodie! The sharing freely has been and continues to be very helpful in my sorting things out as I continue to learn more about enjoying this life, and perhaps here and there any others who can relate will be glad for my words, as I’m always glad for theirs! God bless.

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  4. I want to say first, thanks so much for sharing with us! And second, you are so courageous for sharing and taking the steps to being ‘free’, I’m glad that you are seeing the benefits of making the decision honestly I think it’s wonderful. I can only imagine how hard it must have been to take the steps. If I’m honest, I feel I should be doing this but cannot because I’m afraid. I know it’s not good for me but I’d rather keep myself there, despite it drowning me inside, because I know the surroundings. To try, is immensely hard and to see that you’ve been able to do it, makes me happy. Gives me hope. I hope you cotinue to share your journey with us and that things will look even brighter than they are now, remember to always #beboldhideless
    A x

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for the wonderful words! Something in you is telling you that is will be soon but not right now. Feel free to honour the timing. Besides, all such things are processes taken in comfortable enough steps along the way. Thank you for commenting!

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