Healing From Childhood Abuse – My Lesson #3 – Happiness is Put On

9a4d52f71289f4e053bd6c52dc916aedGenuine happiness is put on.  I didn’t know.  I thought when others spoke of deciding to be cheerful that they were already coming from a baseline of a certain level of contentedness.  Well, they were, I suppose, but I didn’t know that it could be the same for others who have a baseline of chronic daily unhappiness.

“This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalms. 118:24)  The Bible said it plain.  I thought it meant that this is something to strain for, that with our faces toward God we will slowly be able to become happier and happier until one day we can say this to ourselves and feel uplifted by it.  Now I see that one just decides to be happy.  That’s all there is to it.  It begins the day the person decides this.

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Maybe I couldn’t hear it before.  Yes, I don’t think I would have heard it before.  But for some reason, on my 50th birthday, I decided to be happy on that day, and a light went on.  I can decide to be happy everyday.  For no reason.  For no explanation that I have justify.  I just find things that make me happy, and for me that’s things like singing or playing certain songs, creating something, working towards a small home improvement project, walking, etc., and just do them intentionally to bring up the ‘sunshine’ level in my mind and soul.  I think of them as raising the energy that we all have in our bodies to a higher frequency.

For the first day I felt better, though I felt I had to ignore a lot of low feelings and worry thoughts.  Then it got easier, day after day.  I can seriously say that after only 20 days there has been an incredible difference.  And it was effortless!  In fact, because I was intent on doing things that only made me happy, it was also enjoyable!431457e50a669461228e8175cd3c0697

I got no less done in those days, in fact, I got a little more done than usual, even with the increased Fibromyalgia pain I’ve been having for the last several months.  When I approached the day’s work with wishing to enjoy it and only doing as much as kept me in my energy/pain level and enjoyment level, the same amount or more got done and I was enjoying the process.

What a great revelation.  I don’t know why it has taken me 50 years finally get this, to practice it.  I will continue it, though, and learn how different circumstances, even negative ones, look through this new filter.

I feel like I have received a new lease on life.  I’m only in the learning stage of this, but I am grateful to God to have even have had the increased peace I’ve felt for the last several days.

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.” (James 1:17)

 

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7 thoughts on “Healing From Childhood Abuse – My Lesson #3 – Happiness is Put On

  1. Yes, I know exactly what you’re talking about here! There are people who have never gone through such soul and mind-crushing traumas, especially in childhood, and assume that depressed people just need to change their attitude and think of the positive. They are best to keep their advice to others who have also had normal enough childhoods. Such advice is actually cruel to those who are needing to have their souls healed to even get to that point.

    This is a subject that is very important to me, too! 🙂 I hope to all it’s understood that I’m coming from a place where I’ve felt I’ve had very little reason to live for the first 50 years of my life. I refuse to live longer without a sense of healing and some happiness for the last few decades I have left.

    i am only writing of my own personal journey here, not a blueprint for anyone else. I needed to share this discovery, that at some point one CAN just concentrate on what makes them happy and to heck with the rest. Maybe it comes with getting older, I don’t know. Blessings to you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Prarie Girl, I once worked with a man who used to say, “You have to make your own happiness; no one can make you happy.” And I think he was right. It takes the burden off of the other person. But I agree, when having a history of abuse and being isolated it is a bit trickier. So we go to therapy and get better, live alone, away from abusers and become well and eventually become happy in our solitude. Right now I am in the process of making friends in my life keeping in mind that narcissists have a habit of ‘finding’ us to abuse us. Im getting really good at knowing the signs of toxicity in a person. For awhile there, the last ten years, everyone in my life was toxic so it became a normal.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I love hearing your own experiences with things! I’m so glad you’re in the making friends phase of things because you’re very likeable.

      I’m in the isolation phase that you mentioned. It’s great that you did mention it because that’s exactly why I can start on this process of making my own happiness – because I’ve just undergone removing myself as much as possible from needing to associate with really anyone right now. It’s like I’ve finally sequestered myself in a corner of life to finally heal my wounds. I want to get stronger with a sense of happiness within myself before I go back to interacting with people on any real level right now. I think I’ll have stronger natural boundaries at that point, as well as a new practiced baseline of feeling good about my life to help me identify when I don’t feel good about bringing a person in my life.

      I want to be like you and be able to say that I’m getting good at knowing the signs of toxicity in a person. Many blessings to you, Ruby!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I like the word sequestered that you used. One thing you can do that it sounds like youre already doing is to build a life or make a life doing either free or inexpensive things so that when you do want to make friends you have a life to talk about. I do church, I am raising a puppy, get my nails done, plus normal errands and soon will be volunteering and also studying to possibly go back to my former profession.

    Liked by 1 person

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