It feels irresponsible to not worry! It had taken me awhile to realize that this is why I worried so much, I felt like it was my obligation. It really is just trying to control what will happen tomorrow, not planning for it, but controlling it, which is impossible. Planning for tomorrow gives one a sense of stability and calm, controlling tomorrow feels fretful and tight in the stomach.
I realized I was borrowing worry from the future and adding it to the day I was living, which already had it’s proper amount of concerns: as Jesus said in Matthew 6:34 “Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” It was a freeing thought that I wasn’t responsible for what bad things could happen tomorrow – I could consider it none of my concern.
The Bible speaks of what concerns are ours and what we should leave to God. We are responsible for planning for things that we know will come, like winter, saving for less fruitful times, gathering an inheritance for children and grandchildren, etc. (Prov. 6:6-8 – “ Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise: Which having no guide, overseer, or ruler, Provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest.”)
We understand as God’s responsibility things that we can’t know of ahead of time. I find if I take action toward a future thing or event that I know is coming up, I feel satisfied. When I’m trying to head off an imagined future threat, I feel anxious.
Whenever something bad happened, most of the time it was something I hadn’t even anticipated. Those things that I had anticipated often got worked out one way or another. And of the very few things that didn’t work out, there was still a sensible, measured outcome with available options at the end of it. They were never as traumatic as I had worried them to be.
As I learn the components of happiness, I also must learn to not worry. It’s time for my soul to rest.